i haven't updated in a long time. hmm. but then again, who ever said that i had to update regularly? makes you wonder if you update for people to read or if you update for yourself. and if i don't want to update for myself then so be it. ha. this is retarded why am i arguing with myself.

anyway so i've decided, since tomorrow is the start of the A levels. yes, THE A LEVELS (it's here!! nooooo...) i shall blog since it's probably significant enough a milestone in my life. sigh, my very short 18 years of youth and i have to face this? somehow i don't even feel half as prepared as i was for the Os. now i wonder, is it because of the sheer amount of content that i have to cover or because i just didn't study hard enough. and if it is the latter, i really wonder now, what will happen if i screw up the As and don't end up going to uni. i'll be worse off than a poly grad who has a diploma. argh....no....

but one must face up his fears and yes tomorrow i shall take on GP like it's my 2nd prelims. but then, everytime i tell myself that this little, annoying voice at the back of my head goes "if you screw this up, you screw everything up" and then again, the As aren't necessarily the end, as a teacher once said during chapel. they are in fact, a very small part of your life. well, ok maybe in 15 years time after i first survive the As.

and so tomorrow is GP. argh, GP. does it have to be so hard? it's a breeze for some people but for me, the stuctured questions always get me. somehow, my brain isn't able to read between the lines. why!! i know i'm not stupid..i mean i got past the Os pretty easily..hmm. my sister asked me today, "GP is like english right?" and i said, "no!! it's a lot harder" and it made me think about english. life was much easier then, when it was just english and essays didn't have to be 1. thesis statement 2. example 3.explain 4. evaluate. since when did we need a formula for an essay? i thought formulas only existed in science.

hmph. ok enough rambling. life must go on and i must go back to studying oh yes, the 'general paper' that turns out to be rather specific and structured.

all the best to me, and most of all, i know i will have to depend on God for this one, just as with everything else of course (: